Skidding past the old cemetery, an unease feeling takes over my inner senses. Melancholy? Maybe... But a sudden guilt conscious earthed by the sleeping dead crawls up my skin, sending spinal chills all the way down to my crotch. Bringing the car to a slow halt, my muffler seems about the only sound stretching far against the deafening mellows, disturbing the silence of the burial grounds. I stutter my first steps like a baby staggering to maintain balance upon discovery that walking is better than crawling. My vision is blurred, I strain to see, strain to read names, fall down to my knees, trying so hard to conceal my pain, my never ending pain. I fail to breathe, lungs squeezing my soul out as I try in vain to pull myself up from the dirt. Thick clouds stain the evening sky, yet its droplets cleanse my tormented and tattered body. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, the scent of rain on mother earth, the faint 'Blue for men' cologne, the irony that it doesn't stink of decomposing corpses. It hurts, I place my right hand over my chest, my body's warm in such a downpour. Palpitation almost seizing, I crawl over the grave. Place my hand over her tombstone and whisper " I wish I was down there instead of you love". Post accident trauma taking its trail on me, it sucks she had to leave when I was to blame, I should have died that night..."and al find my corner, maybe tonight al join you, after my blood has drowned in poison."
